A Drummer Realizes Her Dream
by Margie Pasero
I had been working at a job I loved, a high school attendance coordinator, for 19 years when I began to feel stirrings of discontent. I had always been in a disciplinarian role, and it was beginning to feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t who I am, and I felt as though I wasn’t being true to myself in this role. I was 10 years away from retirement and had decided to stick it out when the school district sent me to a weekend workshop. One of the classes, called “Realizing Your Dreams,” sounded intriguing, so I signed up for it.
After being introduced to the presenter, we were asked to close our eyes and think as far back as we could remember. What was it we loved to do most in the world? What had excited us and made us feel alive. We were to allow whatever came to our minds to be there, no matter how bizarre it might seem. “Rhythm” came to my mind. I had loved it as a youngster. I had played the clarinet since third grade, but I had always wanted to be the kid behind the drums. However, in the 1950’s girls usually played the flute, clarinet, or piano. In high school my dream had been to be in a rock band, but after years of playing the clarinet, learning to play the drums and join a rock band seemed out of reach.
The presenter gave us several exercises to take home. He said if we did the exercises religiously our “vision” would crystallize and manifest itself in our lives. At this point I was thinking that drumming at the age of 45 was probably a bit “out there” and maybe I should come up with something a bit more within my age group. However, we were told to stick with our original idea, start journaling, visualizing, and acting like we had already reached our goal. It didn’t matter, he said, that we had no idea at this moment what the goal was … just do the exercises. He also said doors would start opening in our lives, and we would need to recognize them as opportunities and walk through them, even if they felt uncomfortable at the time.
I don’t know how many people in the class actually went home, did the exercises, and realized a dream, but I decided it sounded intriguing, and I tried it. I bought myself a spiral notebook and every morning I sat quietly and wrote a full page of “I am a drummer—I am a drummer—I am a drummer.” I said this mantra to myself over and over during the day and started to imagine myself drumming. All this seemed very weird at the beginning, but it actually started to feel exciting and “right” after a couple of weeks.
After about two weeks of journaling and visualizing my sister called me and said, “Did you know there is a large African drumming community in Seattle?” I hadn’t known this and imagined that the community consisted of either Africans, which I am not, or hippies , which I am no longer. I did recognize this as a door opening, however, and decided to take a drumming class. The first six months found me in a group of people whom I judged to be very different from me. They were mostly younger, off-beat, and not mainstream types. Despite my discomfort I found I loved the heart-pounding rhythms that were being generated. Soon after I bought my first drum—actually, it called to me—which had an energy that was powerful yet simple and beautiful.
Several months later, I was at Seattle’s Folklife Festival where I saw a group of children performing on African drums. It made the hairs stand up on my arms and brought tears to my eyes … this powerful sound coming from children! That was the crystallizing moment, when the puzzle pieces started to fall into place! I wanted to take my educational experience and my love of drumming and teach children! I gathered my courage and spoke to the director, Kip, after the performance. He was excited to share his expertise and invited me to come to Port Townsend in the summer to help him teach a summer drumming camp. In August of 1999 I boarded the Seattle to Port Townsend Ferry alone for my adventurous weekend. I pampered myself by staying in an old Victorian Hotel. I spent my days learning that teaching drumming was not only fairly easy for me but also joyful and fulfilling! Kip was more than willing to let me instruct, give me information on starting my own business, purchasing drums and equipment, and lining up jobs. In the evenings I walked on the beach, meditated, read, took in a movie and shopped at the local craft shops. I will always remember that weekend as a turning point in my life spiritually as well as occupationally.
At this point I need to tell you that I had always been a person who was terrorized by speaking in front of audiences. I would freeze, start shaking, and feel ill. Luckily the excitement of my adventures overpowered my fears enough so I could continue.
Back at home I started fine-tuning my journaling: “I am a drumming teacher—I am a drumming teacher—I am a drumming teacher.” My husband started introducing me as a drumming teacher even though I still worked at the high school and only had one drum. I continued taking lessons and performing with my class, and I started feeling a part of the Seattle drumming community. At this point I knew I had to take this “game” I was playing to a different level or it would always be just a game.
On December 1999 just before the turn of the new millennium, I resigned from 19 years at the high school, bought 10 drums and a basketful of small percussion instruments, printed business cards, got my business license and made flyers describing my goals, spiritual intentions, and drumming experience. I started calling parks departments, schools, boys and girls clubs, and YMCA’s. I named my business “Heartbeats” because I loved what I was about to embark on and the idea had come straight from my heart. I was terrified, but I did it! Now six years later I am creating a wonderful business where I play instead of work.
I also felt a great need to be a performer in an all-women’s drumming group. I wanted our songs to be original compositions with a spirit-filled agenda. I wanted to be part of a group that not only played the drums but also other instruments to give it an unusual and interesting flavor. I started journaling these intentions, and I am now a member of OmBili Afro Cuban Tribal Jazz all women’s performing troupe.
Ultimately, I believe we can create whatever is in our hearts. We just need to visualize it, journal it, and feel what it is like to have accomplished it. This works for anything in your life. Your imagination is real and vibrant, and it can be used to fill your life with joy!
